


II: Foregone Conclusions

by Ducks



Series: The Ties Between Us [2]
Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, IWRY baby fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-11-28
Updated: 1999-11-28
Packaged: 2017-10-12 06:39:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/121994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ducks/pseuds/Ducks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buffy is pregnant with Angel's child after the events of I Will Remember You. It seems that the Oracles forgot a little something when they swallowed Angel's day of humanity, and that mistake almost killed Buffy. Now that she's survived that immediate threat, her day-to-day life is sent into a blinding tailspin. Just as she's recovering from her near-death, and the shock of discovering what happened between her and Angel at Thanksgiving, she finds she has some even tougher adjustments to make, and more dangerous things to worry about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Uncomfortable Homecoming

Buffy sighed, relaxing deeper into her bed. It was so good to be home, she thought she might like to curl up under the covers and sleep for a week.

But there was so much to think about… to do… to decide. Her mind reeled, and though her body was exhausted, her consciousness just didn't seem to want to fade.

A baby. She was having a baby. That fact in itself was enough of a blockbuster. There was never any question in her mind that she would have it, even before she knew for certain it was Angel's.

Angel… blockbuster #2. She hadn't seen him in the four days since he had come to the hospital, with the incredible story of his brief stint as a human, and the day they'd spent together that had brought her here. Even knowing the story, she still didn't understand it. And some part of her could barely believe it. But her instincts, and the new life growing inside of her confirmed that it must be so. What other explanation could there be?

She shook that thought immediately out of her head... never tempt fate on the Hellmouth.

She looked over at the virtual forest of flowers, plants, and mylar balloons that crowded her room. An unopened ivory card lay on her nightstand, and she fingered it lovingly before she opened it:

"I'm glad you're both okay. Love, Riley"

She blinked. Riley… she hadn't seen him at all since she'd regained consciousness. Not that she blamed him. Willow had told her how Riley had wakened in the hospital waiting room to overhear Angel talking about what had really happened on Thanksgiving. How he'd made some flimsy excuse and stormed out…

Buffy felt worst of all about hurting Riley, who had never been anything but kind and giving to her. She had really come to care about him in the few months they'd been dating… She'd even begun to dare imagining a future they might share together. And now this?

She should have known better. She was the Slayer, and whatever Riley's chosen vocation, she knew full well that brining normal humans into her world only resulted in one thing: pain.

Buffy closed her eyes. None of this was going to be simple.

But what in her life ever was?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Card Patrol!" Xander called happily as he entered the room. He stooped over Buffy and kissed her quickly on the forehead. "And how's our little mommy today?" He chirped, grinning, as he tossed a paper bag packed with junk food beside her on the bed.

Buffy immediately began rummaging through it, and dragged out a package of Ho-Ho's. It wasn't what she was hungry for, but it would do, for now…" BORED!" She snapped, "I'm so bored I could shoot myself!" She lamented.

"Now, now…" Xander chided her, "Two weeks, flat on your back. Doctor's orders."

She glared at him, her eyes wild.

"Hence, the cards!" He went on, pulling a dog-eared deck from his pocket, "Guess strip poker's out…"

Buffy's glare deepened.

"Har har!" Xander laughed, "How about Gin?"

Buffy sighed and said nothing, but turned to stare back out the window. Xander stopped shuffling when he realized he'd lost his audience.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked gently.

"No." Buffy said firmly. "I don't. Tell me what's going on out there." She said, nodding toward the open window.

"Ah. Out there." Xander said, as if he'd forgotten where it was, "Willow actually got a real, live B on her chem exam, which of course is worse than any Armageddon the minions of Hell might dream up; and Oz bought a new amp, which I'm pretty certain could double as a sonic weapon if we ever needed one. And Anya is still all pissed off that she can't find a comfortable pair of running shoes…"

"Xander!" Buffy interrupted him, "I meant SLAYING! What's going on with Slaying?!"

"Oh… right." He said, patting her hand, "Have no fear, Nighthawk's here."

Buffy shot him a look.

"Well, I've got help. We're covered, don't worry." He said.

"Tell me…" Buffy hissed.

So, despite Xander's so-called "better judgment", he told her the gang's plan. They rotated patrols in teams made up of at least one supernatural type (i.e. Angel or Spike), and several human ones. Wesley and Cordy had arrived in town just the day before to help out.

"It's like old times." Xander said wistfully, "But… you know, without you…"

Buffy frowned.

"And believe me, it's just not the same!" He added over-cheerfully.

"You're being careful, right?" Buffy asked him.

"Careful! Absolutely! You'd be amazed how well we've got everything working…" Xander squeezed the deck of cards too hard, and sent them flying all over the room.

As she watched them flutter to the floor, she thought, 'At least Angel's with them. He won't let anything happen…'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cordy could smell his hair from across the room. She'd been sure that Wesley's mystique and allure would have worn off by now, after they'd worked together for so many months. But it hadn't. She still got all tingly inside, watching he and Giles noisily bickering over their books.

Cordelia found (much to her surprise and chagrin) that it was good to be back in Sunnydale, working with the old team again. She liked being surrounded by smiling, busy, human faces for a change… and Wesley didn't always count. She loved Angel dearly -- he'd become the closest friend she'd ever had -- but since Doyle died, he'd been even more Woe & Angst than usual.

Optimism. Hope. Those were the things her old high school friends had… and now she was starting to catch it too, for the first time in a long time.

She got up and joined Angel at the bar. He was reading, as usual. Some old, decrepit book in some language she doubted even Giles would understand.

"Only one message." She handed him her slip of scrap paper.

 

"Kate…" he read, and thought, simultaneously.

"Yup. Just thanking you for the tip on Blue Leo… and to let you know things are under control there." Cordelia said.

He nodded. Good. Nothing going on in L.A. that couldn't wait.

Couldn't wait until what? That had been the question that had distracted him from his reading all day. How long was he planning on remaining in Sunnydale, and what were his reasons… his real reasons… for staying? His brain thought it knew the answers, of course: As long as he was needed, and because Buffy needed him. But the constant throbbing sensation in the general vicinity of his long dead heart made him second-guess himself. Did she really need him? And more specifically, did she want him, there?

Angel almost groaned when Cordy plunked down on the stool next to him. Whatever was about to come out of her mouth, he was relatively certain he wasn't in the mood for it.

"So. What are you going to do?" She asked, fixing her big, nosy eyes on him.

She'd probably be appalled to know how predictable she was.

"About what?" He asked innocently. Sometimes, playing dumb helped. She would just get frustrated and go away.

"Duh. About the baby." It never worked when the news was this big and juicy, though…

He looked up at her. "It's not up to me." He said simply.

Cordy cocked a perfectly plucked eyebrow at him, "Um… aren't you 50% shareholder?"

Angel gave her his best "please go away" look, which she ignored. He sighed. "It's not a piece of property in Acapulco, Cordelia. It's a child."

She rolled her eyes. "I know that. But, it is yours, right? So, what do you want to do? What are you going to do? There are things to think about, here… showers and baby clothes and stuff…"

Angel turned back to his book. "That's up to Buffy." He said, hoping this time it sounded dismissive.

"That's it?" Cordy said, aghast, "But you're the father!"

Angel snapped the book shut. "Cordelia. Listen to me very carefully. What happens now is Buffy's decision. Period. And I don't want to talk about it anymore. Okay?"

Cordelia raised her hands in surrender, "Okay, okay! Jeeze! I was just trying to help!"

"Thank you." Angel said, "But don't."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Riley performed the familiar functions automatically, while his mind wandered elsewhere. He pulled and pushed, polished and clicked, over and over again, exactly the way he had a thousand times before.

"Ri. Riley…" Forest's voice brought him back from dark, irrational thoughts about vampire babies…

"Huh? Sorry." He said, setting the M-16 down at his feet.

"Do I even want to know where you are?" His friend asked.

"No." Riley answered flatly, "You really don't."

"I'm thinking it has something to do with a certain blonde whose name begins with B-U-F-F-Y…" he teased.

Riley not only didn't smile, he seemed to sag into his huge frame.

"That bad?" Forest said, suddenly concerned about his usually cheerful C.O.

Riley snorted bitterly. "Worse. Much worse." He said, putting locking down the rifle and sliding it back into its black field case.

"Want to tell me about it?" Forest said.

Riley looked at his best friend for a few moments. For all his bluster and obnoxious-ness, Forest was always there for him. Riley had been lying to him for so long now, he could barely keep his story straight anymore. It was hard to know how much he could say without blowing Buffy's cover… or contradicting his own earlier stories.

On the simplest level, Riley was a man, hurt and confused by the behavior of a woman he cared about, and he needed to talk to someone who wasn't tied by blood or life debt to Buffy.

"She's pregnant." He said finally.

Forest froze, staring at him in wide-eyed disbelief. "What? She's… what?"

Riley looked back down at the perfectly clean and shining floor. "You heard me."

Forest let out an exasperated sigh, and ran his hand over his smooth head. "Yeah, but I was hoping I didn't. Man…" he said, "That's… man."

Riley nodded. A clear picture of the vampire he had seen in the hospital a few days ago formed in his mind. He still couldn't wrap his brain around anything about this situation, and it was driving him crazy. He felt worn out, frazzled, and confused all the time, about all but the simplest things.

"Man." Forest repeated.

Silence hung between the two men for a while. Forest was really surprised -- he'd always thought Riley was Mr. Ultra-Conservative-Wait-For-A-Serious-Commitment-Guy…

"What are you going to do?" he asked finally.

Riley frowned. "I honestly don't know." As he got up to lock his rifle in the weapons cabinet, he wished desperately that he could tell his friend all of the gory details. Maybe a different perspective -- a neutral perspective-- was exactly what he needed to help him see more clearly. Or, at the very least, it would help him muster the courage to at least go and see Buffy…

He felt like the worst kind of coward. She needed him more than ever, now, and he couldn't even put aside his pride (his embarrassment, really) enough to go and look her in the face. He had sent flowers, but…

The truth of the situation was too much for him to bear alone. He got up took a quick look up and down the hall to make sure no one was around, then shut the locker room door.

"Forest…" he said quietly. Against his better judgment, he just had to lean on someone. And after all they'd been through together, he knew in his heart that he could trust Forest.

His friend looked up at him. "Yeah?"

Riley sat on the bench beside him, and folded his hands. "There's more. A lot more. But I need to know that I can trust you. Nobody can know about any of this, and I mean nobody -- not even Professor Walsh. Especially Professor Walsh. A lot of lives depend on this staying a secret."

Forest stared at him, but didn't hesitate, "You have my word, brother."

Riley nodded. "Do you remember, a while back, when I asked you about the Slayer?"

Forest cocked an eyebrow, "Yeah, and I remember telling you it was all a bunch of fairy tale bunk."

"Yeah, you did. But it's not."

Forest's other eyebrow joined the first. "Are you serious? Have you been taking something?"

Riley shook his head. "No, Forest, I'm serious. The Slayer does exist."

"You've been watching too much TV." Forest mumbled, despite the fact that he knew full well Riley never watched any television at all.

"I'm serious!" Riley snapped. Forest jumped a little. It was rare for Finn to raise his voice or lose his cool, even a little.

"Okay. Alright…" Forest said defensively.

Riley bowed his head, running his large hand through his sandy hair. "I know the legends are true, because I know her."

Realization sharpened Forest's features, "Buffy…" he said, his mind unable to believe what his ears told him Riley was saying.

Riley nodded.

"You're kidding." Forest said, "Please say you're kidding…"

"I wish I were." Riley said softly, "But that's not even the hardest part to believe."

He told Forest everything he knew about Buffy and her demon-hunting friends, about her lover, the vampire with a soul, and what had happened at Thanksgiving. He felt a twinge of guilt at sharing all of these private things about Buffy, but he couldn't seem to stop once he'd begun.

Forest went from incredulous, to amazed and back again several times as he listened to his friends' lament.

"Incredible." He said when Riley was done, "Man… I can't believe it… Little tiny Buffy? Demons with Souls? It sounds like something out of Grimm…"

"I know." Riley said, "I've seen it all, Forest… or at least I thought I had… and now, to find out all this?"

"Kind of sets your reality into a tailspin, huh?" Forest said, feeling that way himself. But hey, when he was a kid, he'd never believed demons and monsters were real, either. Now he knew better. Why not this too? "What are you going to do?"

Riley closed his eyes. "I have no idea. I don't even know what I think about it all yet."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Graham backed away from the door. His head was spinning from everything he'd just overheard. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, at first… he'd only wanted to grab a sweatshirt out of his locker. But he heard Riley mention the Slayer, and he just had to know.

The Slayer not only existed, she was dating his own C.O.! And now she was pregnant… an interesting fact in itself… but by a vampire with a soul?

He could barely hold back from sprinting down the hall. Someone had to know this -- all of this -- immediately. He struggled to keep both his cool and his even pace as he headed for Walsh's office.

This could change everything for the Initiative… and for his own career. Graham could barely believe Riley would betray them so by not reporting this to begin with.

But… that didn't matter now, Graham thought. Maggie Walsh was going to be thanking him for a long time to come.


	2. When One Door Closes...

He stayed back, out of the full view of the window, so he could watch her. He'd sat in this very spot, in the V of the tree limbs, in better times and in worse. Many, many times. He never ceased to be paralyzed by the sight of her… he was always enthralled by the steel beauty of her every graceful movement.

She still kept Slayer's hours, even now that she was confined to her bed. He knew she was bored to tears… he could see it in the way she seemed to fidget constantly, flipping the TV on and off, getting up to move some small thing or another, then laying back down again. It was always worst in the darkest part of the night -- that time when her body and five years of habit were telling her she should be out hunting. Even now that she seemed to be sleeping peacefully, he could feel the tension surrounding her. She was probably dreaming about the hunt, too.

Angel knew the call intimately. That driving need to move, to act, to do something. Whether it was to protect the innocent… to stop the minions of Hell… to blow off steam, or to stave off the pain of unanswerable questions, unbearable thoughts, and painful memories, he wasn't certain. But whatever the motivation, the hunter was always irresistibly drawn to the hunt.

Since Buffy had been home, he'd come by every night around this time, in those dark hours before the dawn... Once upon a time, he would have been walking her home; stealing kisses through the very window he peered into now, watching her sleep… watching the even rise and fall of her chest.

They were so young, then… so innocent, in spite of who they were and what they did at night. For a time, Angel had almost believed he was young again -- young and alive in the warmth of her smile. For the first time in 200 years, he'd had some hope, because of her.

And now that hope lay sleeping, growing, thriving in Buffy's womb. An unbelievable miracle… Even if he never lay eyes on his child, never held it in his arms, he would know that it lived… that a beautiful manifestation of who he and Buffy might have been would walk the earth, carrying on his blood -- his human blood --a hope he'd never thought to entertain once he had ended his line with his own hand more than two centuries ago…

"Hey…" her soft voice came from the window, startling him from his thoughts.

Some guardian…

"Hey." He said.

Buffy smiled at him. "Why don't you come in? I don't care what you say, that tree can't be comfortable."

She moved away from the window, disappearing into the shadows of her room. Angel hesitated. He hadn't meant to come face to face with her again so soon… he wanted her to have the time and space she would need to rest and heal and process everything.

"Are you coming?" she said from the dark.

He climbed in the window like he had a thousand times before, and looked around the room. It hadn't really changed much, either… with the exception of the explosion of brightly colored flowers that decorated every surface.

A great many people cared a great deal about this woman…

Buffy patted the bed next to her, and he sat. He searched her face slowly for some sign of what she might feel about his presence there, but her expression held her secrets, telling him nothing.

"I didn't mean to wake you." He said.

"You didn't. I wasn't really sleeping…" she looked away, "I knew you were there."

He nodded. The tie between them had always been thus… that no matter where they were or what they were doing, no matter how many other beings might populate the room, they could always feel one another. They were partners in every way…had shared so much that words were hardly ever necessary, between them.

Which was good, considering Angel always found it hard to speak when he was around her, even after all these years. Especially now, that they had been separated for so long.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

Buffy sighed. "Sore. Tired. Pregnant…" she said, "You know, I don't know why I didn't notice the signs before… I thought I just needed to eat better, get more rest, and then I'd stop feeling so fat and sick and slow all the time…"

Angel half-smiled. "Well, how were you to know? None of this ever should have happened."

Buffy didn't answer, but strained to see his face, shrouded by the shadows of the room.

"No, I guess not…" she said uncertainly, "But, you know, I've been thinking a lot… and maybe this was meant to be… from the beginning…"

Angel remembered the feeling of being knocked flat by this little girl… the pavement grating his back and her high-heeled boot crushing his chest as she glared down at him in the dark alley behind the Bronze…

"Maybe…" he said. But he didn't believe it. He felt once again, in his heart, that this was something he had done to her, like all the other things he had done to make her unhappy before.

"How do you feel about… all this?" She asked softly.

He was a little taken aback. He wasn't sure how he felt. He hadn't had the time or the strength to spend much time thinking about it, beyond the fact that come what may, he would support her.

"I don't know." He said honestly.

Buffy stared at him, "You don't know how you feel about being a father?"

Father. Angel rolled the word around in his mind. For a moment, he thought of his own father, and their troubled relationship. "I never thought it was possible…" he told her.

"No. I guess I didn't either. With me, I mean… I thought… Slayers don't usually live long enough to have kids. And… the idea of having them with you…" she let her voice trail off for a moment, unable, or perhaps unwilling, to go there, "And even if I thought I might… how good of an idea can it be to bring a child into my Hellmouth of a life?"

"Or into this world at all…" Angel added absently, looking out the window.

Buffy's head snapped up, her expression hurt. "So you… you don't think I should… have… it?"

Angel looked back at her. Tears were sliding down her bruised cheeks, sparkling like liquid silver in the moonlight. "I didn't say that." He said softly, "I never even thought it. That decision is entirely yours."

"So… you don't care, then." Buffy said flatly, her voice cracking a little.

'Damn it!' he thought. He never expressed himself well to Buffy. It seemed like any time he tried to tell her something, he only hurt her once again. He reached out with one hand and wiped the tears from her cheek.

"Buffy… of course I care. You don't really believe I don't…" it was a question, as much as a statement.

She shrugged, but said nothing.

Angel took a deep, unnecessary breath. There were a thousand things he should say to Buffy right now… all of the things he had felt for her in all the years he had known her... So many, he didn't even know where to begin.

"What I think shouldn't have any bearing on what you decide, Buffy…" he said, "You know how… how deeply I feel for you. You know what you mean to me. Or, you should…"

It wasn't helping. Buffy continued avoiding his eyes, and cried silently.

Angel decided, once and for all, to make himself clear, "I love you, Buffy. I always have… More than anything. More than my own life. And…" he hesitated slightly, looking down at the tiny swell of her belly under her nightshirt, "And I love our child, more even, than that."

She looked up at him. "Really?" She asked, looking for all the world like a lost, scared little girl.

He smiled, even though he knew she couldn't really see. "Really. Buffy, it's not that I don't care. But, where I come from… the ancient traditions of my people… they're… different than how you were raised. The Celts traced lineage through Mothers… They were considered the only true parent, and what they said in regard to raising their children, went. Period. And I believe in that, firmly."

He turned so they were fully face to face, and the moonlight shone on them, lighting their tear-stained faces. Angel reached out and took both of Buffy's hands in his own.

"If you tell me to go away… if you ask me to stay… or anything in between, I'll do it. Trust in that. I am always here for you….no matter what. I respect you, and I trust that you'll always do what you think is right. That's why I'm leaving this decision up to you. It's your life… your body… you have to do with it what you feel is best. I'm just a helper."

Buffy was overwhelmed. She didn't think he'd ever said so much to her at one time, before… and then, there was what he was saying. For the first time, she had visions of them raising their child -- sharing the future -- together. A hope she hadn't had in a long time. His eyes caressed her softly, and she lost herself in their mahogany depths.

She had almost forgotten what an amazing man he was, demon or no.

"I don't know what I'm going to do yet," she said, smiling through her tears, "I… I haven't… processed everything. You're right. But I promise, you'll be the first person I'll tell."

His smile spread an inch, and he let go of one hand to pull her closer to him. He looked deeply into her eyes for a moment, his face bare inches from his, and Buffy was almost certain he was going to kiss her.

He thought about it, but decided on a warm, soft kiss to her forehead, instead. He pulled away, still looking at her. "I should go. You need to get some sleep. It'll be dawn soon."

She knew he meant that he didn't want to go, but he had to. And it was probably best all around, for right now…

Angel got up and moved back to the window, and Buffy felt a tug at her heart to see his big, graceful body move across the room. Sneaking out of her window just before dawn, exactly like the old days.

"Angel?" She called him.

He stopped and turned back.

"What was it like? Us… together, I mean…" She asked. Buffy had dreamed about it happening so many times… wished for it with all of her considerable might. She even had prayed for it, more than once…for a chance to be with him… But Angel had had it. He had been there. And she would give anything to know what that felt like.

He looked seriously at her, the moon framing the outline of his unruly hair in its silver light, and casting deep shadows across his high cheekbones.

"Heaven." He said simply, then climbed out the window and disappeared into the pre-dawn mist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anya, Xander, Cordelia, Oz, Willow, and Wesley all gathered around Giles' large dining room table.

"Giles, I don't really think any of this calls for much research." Willow said, grouchy at having been dragged out of bed so early on the morning after her turn for patrol. She was beat. "Angel made everything pretty clear, don't you think?"

Cordy tore her eyes away from a distracted Wesley to look at them. "Yeah," She said, inspecting her nails, "No mystical stuff, there. Buy them a copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting, and call it a day."

Giles rolled his eyes, and Xander barely repressed a grin.

Apparently, Wesley had missed the humor, "On the contrary." He said, "There are a great many mysteries and problems surrounding Buffy's pregnancy, and we must do our best to address them all. For one, we can't be certain that the child will be…" he looked compassionately at Cordelia, "Normal… despite what the medical tests might say. There has never before been a Slayer on record who bore any children at all…and we can't be certain that Angel's…er… special… circumstances won't have some effect, as well."

"Right." Giles agreed. The two men had seemed to band together, for Buffy's sake, and now made a formidable ex-Watcher pair. "And then, there are still other matters. The event itself, for example. We need to learn as much about these Oracles as possible. Understanding their power… learning how to contact them… these could be crucial to our victory in what lies ahead."

"I can do that." Cordelia said, not looking up from her nails.

"What?" Giles asked her. The others looked on, surprised.

Cordelia looked up casually. "I already know how to contact the Oracles." She said. "I can do it tonight, if you want. But you better make sure we have something to ask them, first… and a really good gift."

Giles blinked, speechless. Wesley, well used to Cordelia's power, took up the slack, "Yes. Very good. But, nonetheless, there are still the other matters…"

"Um… I hate to add bad news to really insane news, but don't we have to be worried about Buffy's safety, now, too? I mean, she can't exactly fight pregnant…" Anya added helpfully.

"Indeed," Wesley agreed, "There may be any number of creatures interested in this child… and in taking advantage of Buffy's inability to defend herself."

"Somehow I doubt she's 'unable to defend herself', "Xander quipped, "No matter how fat she is."

The others stared at him.

"So. Musty tomes it is." Oz said.

Giles began passing books around. "Yes. Musty tomes." He said.


	3. The Tension Mounts

Spike was annoyed. It was barely noon, and already Angel had him slopping through the sewers. Not that he hadn't come to really adore the good fight (mostly because it was the only fight left, for him), but he liked to sleep late, and hated missing his stories on the tele.

"No self-respecting demon would be out at this time of day. What are we looking for?" he whined.

Angel ignored him, and ducked down the northernmost passageway.

"Hey, mate! I asked you a question!" Spike shouted after him.

Angel stopped, and slowly turned around, returning to glare at Spike. The only label he could think of to describe his sire's look was 'dangerous'… dangerous for him.

"The others are doing research. And we need to be sure Buffy isn't in any danger." He said.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Who's going to bother with her in the middle of the day?"

"We don't know. That's why we need to be out here." Angel turned and continued down the tunnel.

'Great. Nothing like wandering the vacant underbelly of Sunnydale, looking for imaginary dangers…' Spike thought.

Despite his irritation and fatigue, he followed Angel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy watched the sun slowly sink over the horizon, and felt a familiar rush run through her body. It was all she could do not to leap from her bed, pull on some sweats, and hit the streets for a good, long patrol.

She placed her hand softly on her belly. She'd been feeling strange things all day, twitches and rolls that just didn't seem like they should be a part of her at all. Tomorrow, a trip to the OB-GYN, and soon, her captivity would be over… hopefully. But then what? She was willing to bet the doctor would say a big NO to any hunting, running, punching, kicking, or any other of her favorite activities.

The useless feeling that washed over her was even worse than what she had experienced near her 18th birthday, when she had thought she lost her powers for good. At least then, it seemed that the whole deal was off -- her sacred birthright had been a sacred mistake. But now? Now Buffy felt strong, at full power, and restless. She felt more energy running through her, in fact, than she could ever remember, and itched to go out and cream some bad guys.

It didn't matter that the others had it covered. Even with all of the gang working together, plus Riley and his bunch, making the possibility of a sudden demon population explosion slim, she couldn't help but feel that her job was being done by others -- others far less equipped to really cope with the danger. She hated feeling helpless. She hated being left out of the loop.

The more she thought about it, the more uncomfortable she became. She picked up the phone and dialed Giles' number, and felt a little rush of relief run through her to hear Willow answer. At least she knew one of them wasn't out there, tonight.

"Hello?"

"Hi Will, it's me."

"Buffy! Hi! How are you feeling?"

"Fine. Better… What's going on over there? Have you guys found anything yet?"

"No… not really. The only thing we've found about the Oracles is what Cordelia and Angel can tell us, and well… they're not as much help as you might like to think. Okay, so you'd like to think Angel would be some help, but he's locked up tight about the Powers. And, frankly, Cordelia isn't exactly a brimming fount of useful information…"

"Willow. What's going on tonight?" Buffy interrupted.

"Oh, nothing… the usual." She lied.

"Willow…" Buffy knew it.

Willow hesitated. She was under strict orders from Giles to share as little upsetting information as possible with Buffy, and she thought that the fact that over half of the Scoob's numbers had gone off to destroy a magickally reconstructed Kasala nest -- the pack that had almost killed Buffy -- qualified as upsetting. As usual, however, she was completely unable to lie to her best friend.

She sighed, "Angel heard a house had suddenly sprung up in the spot where you… where you destroyed the Kasala last time, and that a gang of nasty vamps had moved in…"

Buffy scowled. "Kasala?" They had almost killed her, and she was the Slayer. She had been afraid of this.

"We think so." Willow said sadly.

Buffy cursed. "Who went?"

"Um… Spike, Giles, Wesley, Xander… Oz couldn't -- the moon. And… Angel."

Bad news. Only the five of them against who knew how many tough, ancient, driven vampires. "That's it? Why didn't they call Riley?" She asked. At least the Initiative could muster larger numbers and greater fire power.

"I don't know." Willow said. She had suggested the very same thing, but Angel, Wesley, and Giles had exchanged funny looks and declared it "not a good idea".

"I'm calling him." Buffy said.

"Buffy… Giles was really firm. No outsiders." Willow said.

Buffy didn't like the sound of that one bit. "Riley's not an outsider."

Willow didn't argue, but changed the subject, instead. "So… when do you see the doctor tomorrow?"

"One." Buffy said, entirely uninterested in talking about a trip to the OB when two of three of the men she cared about most in the world were in so much danger…

"Is Angel going with you?" Willow asked.

Buffy hadn't even considered asking him. "No. My mom is."

"Ah." Willow said, "Well, how about if I stop by after class tomorrow and see how it went?"

"Okay. Sure." Buffy said absently.

"Okay. Then, I'll see you tomorrow. Sleep well, Buffy. And don't worry… they'll be okay. If they don't think they can handle things, they'll leave it."

Buffy wasn't so sure. The minute she said goodbye to Willow and hung up the phone, she picked it back up and dialed Riley's pager number, entering her special code.

That done, she settled back. He'd call soon, and she'd get him and his squad on things. She couldn't afford to lose any of her family… not now…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Riley's beeper began vibrating against his belt, he'd snapped it up so quickly, it had almost gone flying out of his hands. He looked down at the readout:

999-911

Buffy.

He was out on his own patrol, tonight. Riley knew that one of the possible consequences of an absent Slayer might be an onslaught of demon activity that somebody would need to put a halt to. He took it upon himself, as a favor to her.

He knew little about the clan that had almost killed Buffy…only enough to be certain that there would be more. He was ready for them. He'd make them pay for what they'd done.

Now, it seemed it was Buffy herself who needed him. He turned and sprinted at top speed across the Little League field -- a great shortcut to Ravello Drive. He was glad to find that he actually looked forward to seeing her, now -- assuming she was okay. Having unburdened himself to Forest, and talked over ever contingency, every detail, every option, it all seemed less daunting, somehow.

He still didn't have any solutions to his problems. Indeed, he'd started to question whether there were any problems, at all. What happened next was up to Buffy, period. Whatever she decided to do was fine with him. Or at least, he would respect it. He would support her -- stand by her -- no matter what. Or not, if that was what she wanted…

Riley was so deep in thought, he almost ran by her house. He slowed up, and tried to make himself look less like a disheveled demon hunter, and more like a concerned boyfriend, out for a stroll. He knocked on the front door.

Joyce looked terrible: drawn, pale, and exhausted. Of course, he imagined she probably looked like that a lot, considering what her daughter did for a living.

"Riley…" she said, clearly surprised to see him.

"Hi, Mrs. Summers. How are you?" he asked politely.

Joyce stared at him for a moment, uncertain what to say. Some part of her wished that this nice, normal boy were the father of Buffy's child… not some demon. Even if he was a good one.

She tried to muster a smile for him. "I'm fine, thank you, Riley. Isn't it a little late for a visit?"

Riley looked embarrassed. "Buffy beeped me." He said, holding up the beeper, which he had forgotten he was still clutching in his hand.

Joyce nodded, and moved aside. "Please don't be too long." She called after him as he sprinted up the stairs.

Buffy's door was slightly ajar, and he could see her pacing the room. For a moment, he panicked, almost fleeing right back the way he came. He would have, had Buffy not sat heavily back on her bed, staring anxiously at the phone.

She was waiting for him. He knocked softly on the door, and not waiting for an answer, entered.

He smiled at her. "Hi." He said.

She didn't return his smile. "Hi."

Riley fidgeted.

"They're back." Buffy went on, "The Kasala. Back at the farmhouse."

Riley frowned, remembering the last time he had been there, and had found Buffy, mostly dead. "How did you…"

"Willow told me. The others have gone over. Riley, you have to help them, please…" she looked up at him, her voice desperate.

He looked into her soft green eyes, and knew in an instant that he would deny her nothing. He also knew, from the look on her face, that Angel must have gone with them. He was jealous, of course. Almost irrationally so. He found, to his shame, that he wanted to tell her no for that very reason. Wouldn't it just be easier for everyone if the vampire disappeared?

He shook his head to clear it. He wouldn't do that to Buffy. Angel was the father of her child, after all, and besides, she had said "The Others". That meant that more than a single vampire's life was at stake, here.

"Of course." He said, reaching automatically for the radio in his belt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Angel crept back to where Giles and the others waited, in the bushes. He found himself fervently wishing that Buffy was hunting beside him -- their extensive personal sign language would have come in handy, right now. He often missed fighting beside her.

"There are 20 in the building. Five guards outside, maybe more." He told them.

Spike grinned. Lots of them… that meant lots of bone-crushing and skull-splitting. It was going to be a good night.

Giles scowled, "We can't possibly hope to take on that many… Perhaps we should wait."

Angel shook his head. "They're mobilizing for something… stockpiling weapons. They could be going back out after Buffy. We can't risk it."

Giles nodded. "I should call the others… we'll require their numbers."

"No need." A voice from behind them caused all to jump simultaneously.

Six men in black combat gear stood, silhouetted against the night sky. Riley and his immediate unit had been mobilized quickly, and he had given them strict orders to keep their mouths shut and tell no one what transpired tonight. He had called only the five men who he knew he could trust implicitly. An unauthorized operation, if discovered, could get them all court-martialed.

"Great. A whole gang of stealthy night crawlers." Xander snapped.

"Ah." Giles whispered, "Well… good… I guess…"

"What's the situation?" Riley asked, dropping to a crouch between Giles and Angel.

Spike looked around the motley group, and smiled. Missing his stories might not be so bad, after all, if the tension surrounding Angel & Riley got any hotter. A good fight and a good soap opera -- life didn't get much better than this. All he was missing was a hot woman, warm blood, and a cold Guiness.

Angel felt the tension, too. But now wasn't the time for macho rivalry. Now was the time to concentrate on battle -- Buffy's life, and the life of his child, might depend on it.

"Approximately 25 vamps. Most are old, well trained, good fighters. Five outside on watch, one at each compass point and one floater." Angel said, reaching into Giles' large gear bag. He pulled out a sword, flinching a little as his hand brushed a large crucifix.

Riley couldn't help but stare at the puff of smoke that rose momentarily from the vampire's hand.

"Perhaps you should allow me to unpack." Giles suggested, pulling the rest of the items from the bag and handing them to the others. There were several swords, a pile of stakes and crosses, a crossbow, and a giant double-headed axe.

Riley pulled down his night-vision goggles and surveyed the scene. "Strategy?"

Spike rolled his eyes, "Kill them, maybe?"

Angel shot him a look, but said nothing. It was their plan, essentially.

"I will be casting a clouding spell on the perimeter of the house…" Giles said.

Riley nodded. "Good. I can have my men surround… catch any stragglers."

Angel looked around. "Spike -- you, myself, and three others should work the guards. Giles, when we give you the signal, come down and do the consecration on the first level doors. Xander, you back him up"

"After we get inside." Spike reminded him. He wasn't much in the mood for the searing pain of breaking through a consecrated door.

"Once the guards are out of the way, we should each cover an entrance. Spike, you take the south. Finn, the West. Have one of your men take the North, and one the floater. I'll take the East."

Everyone present nodded their understanding. Riley signed orders to his men, and three left, leaving himself, Forest, and Graham to accompany Spike and Angel.

He looked once again at the strange men as they snuck away into the brush. He didn't like them… Didn't like the things he had heard from the underground about them. Being sanctioned by the government didn't necessarily make them more trustworthy. In fact, Angel thought it made them less so, having seen all the many sorts of governmental tyranny he had in his long life. He knew Giles and Wesley had the same concerns, and weren't at all comfortable with Finn and his men jumping into the fray.

They couldn't have come on their own -- Buffy must have called them. If she trusted them enough to send them, that would have to be enough, for now.

Angel crept off to the East, and the others moved to their assigned positions. Giles began to chant softly, after saying a more traditional prayer to himself that Wesley would keep Oz's van running, and not fall asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy continued pacing the room. It was getting late, and she should probably be going to sleep, but her nervousness and frustration kept her wired and moving.

What were they thinking, going after the Kasala with only the six of them? Wasn't it enough that the vampire clan had almost killed her?

She wondered again why Giles had refused to call in the Initiative. He had told her, soon after he first found out that Riley was one of them, that he was concerned about their effect on the balance of things, and about their true agenda. Ethan Rayne had been his source, of course, which immediately made the information suspect, as far as she //and anybody with half a brain!// was concerned. That, and the fact that immediately after that conversation, Ethan had turned Giles into a rather nasty demon.

Screw Ethan Rayne. What did he know anyway? He was a low-rent, rinky-dink loser of a bad guy, and it completely escaped her why Giles would suddenly find his old mate such a reliable source of information. What Riley and The Initiative did was hardly different than The Council… just more technologically advanced. And Buffy knew, both with her heart and with her Slayer's instincts, that Riley held nothing but good intentions.

But, what was the old saying? Something about the Road to Hell…

Buffy walked over to her open closet, and dragged out her red weapons trunk. She threw the heavy top open and inspected the contents quickly, ready to grab what she would need and go.

"Buffy, it's very important that you rest for the next few months. You and your baby barely survived the attack on you the first time… any further trauma, and… well, we can't be sure what would happen…"

The doctors words seemed to hang in the air, echoing all around her. She felt a little rolling twitch in her belly -- the second, that day -- and reached down to rub its growing surface.

She sighed. She couldn't just make these kinds of decisions without thinking, anymore… there was more than just her own life at stake, now. If she died, someone would simply come to take her place. There was no such contingency for her and Angel's child.

Buffy closed the trunk and slid it back into place, then turned and plopped down on her bed. It was all up to Riley and Angel and the others, now…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Riley crouched low in the brush, trying to be as quiet as possible so his target wouldn't be alerted to their presence. One false move, and they would loose the element of surprise. If that happened, they were dead.

He raised his taser rifle and sighted his target, some ten feet away. A single zap would cripple it, and leave it helpless against the simple, old-fashioned stake Riley had in his belt… a gift from Buffy. There was no need for the usual careful handling -- these vamps wouldn't be returning to headquarters with him.

He had a perfect shot. He pulled the trigger, and the rifle let out a loud, high-pitched whine, but didn't fire. Riley cursed, tossing the useless piece of crap aside as the vamp turned and hissed at him, and plunged forward.

Riley jumped to his feet as the demon advanced. It was huge, looked angry, and wielded a very big knife to match its very big, very fangy grin. He felt a little thrill of fear go through him. It was his first battle with nothing in his hands but a cross and a stake.

But before the vampire even moved far from its spot, a dark figure shot out of the shadows, grabbed it, and snapped its neck in a split second.

Riley jumped. As the paralyzed vamp crumpled, almost faster than the human eye could see, Angel crouched down and staked it.

He came out of his hiding spot, staring at the vampire for a moment before he nodded his thanks. Angel returned the gesture, and disappeared back into the brush.

Riley turned his attention to the sounds of battle beginning in the house.


	4. Surprising Interactions

Once the guards were disposed of, Giles' clouding spell and consecration made the rest uncomfortably easy. All 25 vamps were quickly vanquished, and Riley's men, Giles, and Spike were sent to double check the perimeter of the farm for escapees, or others not previously present, returning to the hunt. Xander, Riley, and Angel agreed to divide the search of the house. Xander chose the upstairs, and Angel and Riley took the basement.

The pair crept down the stairs, each armed with a sword and several stakes. At the bottom, they found an empty hallway, with closed doors at either end. Angel pointed right, and Riley nodded. They split up, and Riley took the door to the left.

Angel had a sincerely bad feeling about this. The rest of the farmhouse had been rather haphazardly rebuilt, so that its structure barely looked tenable. Magick, obviously, and hurriedly done. But the basement looked brand-new, well-constructed, and sturdy.

The door he came to was locked, but Angel was easily able to break in. The moment he stepped through the door, he realized he had made what could very well be a fatal mistake. Steel walls slid down on three sides of him, and immediately began to hum with electricity. Angel sniffed the air, wondering if he had wandered into a trap that was already populated… but it was clean, with the exception of Finn's human scent.

Angel surveyed his prison. Three walls were now electrified steel, and the fourth…

He charged the far wall. Another door was arranged in its center. As he approached it, he stopped. He looked carefully at it, seeing that it seemed to be a plain, flimsy office-type pasteboard door, which immediately made it suspect in this otherwise airtight room. He listened carefully for the sounds of electricity, used his inner sense to try to detect magick, but found nothing. He did, however, hear the shuffling of human footsteps on the other side.

Angel said a quick prayer to the PTB as he reached out and turned the cheap doorknob.

Riley stood on the other side, his sword drawn and ready to strike. Angel peered over the boy's shoulder, and saw that where they really were was one enormous room, a dungeon, almost, separated only by this single, strange wall. The remaining walls of Finn's area were also surrounded by electrified steel.

Riley lowered his sword when he saw that it was Angel who had stepped through the door.

"Booby trap." He said to the vampire, "They were expecting us."

Angel shook his head. "They were expecting someone. Most likely, Buffy."

"Damn it!" Riley snapped, "We can't afford to be stuck down here!" he snatched the radio from his belt, "Alpha team… Alpha team, this is Lavender… do you copy?" Only static answered him. He tried once more, but still got no response.

Angel looked askance at him. "The electricity interferes with radio signals." He said, as though Riley were a stupid child.

"Yes. I know that. Thank you." Riley snapped, "I had to try."

The two men separated once again, each examining every inch of their respective room There seemed to be no breaks in the walls, or in the electricity. They met back near the center door.

"What now?" Riley asked, frustrated.

Angel shrugged. "We wait. Giles and the others will come looking for us."

Riley glared at him. "Wait?" he looked around one more time, and then sighed. He nodded, resigned, and sunk to the floor. He pulled his radio out once more, pried the cover loose, and began fiddling with the wiring. Angel watched.

When Riley felt the creeping sensation of the vampire staring at him, he looked up. "Maybe I can adjust it to a strong enough frequency to transmit inside the house. When they come, we can tell them where we are." He told him.

Angel nodded, and began slowly pacing the room. After several laps, he stopped again, and crouched a few feet away from Finn, watching the soldier work.

He seemed like a nice enough kid… a genuine corn-fed midwestern farm boy if Angel had ever seen one… and he had. If not for his unusual job, he would be exactly the sort of person he had imagined for Buffy.

An idea slammed into his head like a fright train. It wasn't a pleasant one, and it would require a great deal of patience and strength on his part, but it seemed for the moment to be the ideal solution to his Buffy dilemna.

"Finn." He said to the boy.

He looked up. Angel rose and walked closer to Riley's position, and sat down next to him.

"What?" Riley said testily. However much Buffy might care about him, Angel was still a vampire, and that fact alone made Riley extremely uncomfortable.

"Stop for a minute. I'd like to talk to you, while we have the chance." Angel said.

Riley obeyed hesitantly, slapping the cover back on his radio and turning his full attention to Angel. "I'm listening..." He said. He couldn't begin to imagine what the vampire had to tell him that he'd want to hear. He was surprised at his anger toward the man... surprised at how much he resented his very presence...

Angel sighed. This was going to be more difficult than he'd imagined. But he knew, in his heart, that it was the best thing for everyone involved.

"I want to ask you for a favor, "he went on holding the man's gaze, "For your help."

Riley scowled. Was he kidding? No… by the dark look on the vampire's face, he felt safe guessing that he wasn't. "My help? With what?"

"With Buffy." Angel replied.

Riley briefly cast his eyes down. "Okay." He said quietly, "If I can." For her, he would… and for no other reason.

Angel seemed to hold his breath. "I know… I mean, I assume, that you and Buffy are close. I know she cares about you, and I imagine you care about her…" //how could he not?// "I don't think I have to tell you that the chances of Buffy and I… ever building a real home, together, for our child, are slim to none." He shook his head sadly, "I can hardly believe I'm saying this… Riley, I want to ask you… please… as one man who cares about Buffy to another… I want you to take care of her… and the baby…"

Riley's face became a mask of shock. "What?"

Angel looked skyward, searching for the strength to go on in the face of the pain that washed over him, "When I leave… I want you to promise to be there for her… and for the baby. I know that's a lot to ask -- to be the father to another's man's child, but… You know, and I know, that a human family would be the best thing…two normal parents…"

Riley simply stared at the handsome vampire, barely able to believe what he was hearing. It was an idea he had given a great deal of thought to himself, but he had assumed that Angel would want to take his rightful place as the child's father… whatever the circumstances. His obvious desire to put Buffy's well-being before his own gave Riley a new respect for this creature-of-the-night. It was an ironic feeling, and one that was far less than comfortable…

"I… I don't know, Angel… what about what Buffy wants?" He said finally.

"Buffy follows her heart without using her head." Angel replied, "She sometimes wants things that aren't good for her." He hated making his beloved sound like a simple-minded child, but it was the truth, and this was important for him. He knew Buffy would be angry if she knew… upset that, once again, an important decision regarding her life was taken out of her hands.

Riley nodded. He was familiar with Buffy's rash passions.

Angel continued to look at him. "Do you think you can? Do that… take care of Buffy, I mean… be a father -- a normal father -- for her child?" he asked.

Riley looked him square in the eye, "What about you? Don't you want a part in your child's life? In Buffy's?" He couldn't agree to this… it felt wrong… and even if he did, he had to know that he wouldn't spend the rest of his days in bizarre power struggles with Buffy's true love -- the baby's true father.

"What I want doesn't make any difference." Angel said flatly, staring straight ahead into nothing.

Before Riley had a chance to respond, they heard voices calling them from outside the door. Both men jumped to their feet and ran to the spot where Angel had entered.

"In here!" Riley called, "Be careful, the walls are electrified!"

The wall before them began to hum louder and turn a hot, angry red, and in a moment, Spike came crashing through.

"Calvary's here!" he shouted happily, then stopped in front of Angel and Riley. Both men appeared to be in one piece, and only one looked dead, so he imagined he hadn't missed anything too terribly interesting. "I would have been in sooner, but Giles wouldn't let me use his head as a battering ram."

Riley and Angel shoved past him, ignoring his jokes. When the reached the now decimated doorway, Angel gestured to Riley that he should go first. They looked at one another pointedly for a long moment, and then Riley stepped through the hole, into the concerned clutch of his men waiting outside.

Angel stood in the doorway, and Spike came to stand beside him.

"He's a nice chap, eh?" Spike said with a snide leer.

Angel watched the soldier debriefing his fellows, and said, "Yeah. Nice."

He only hoped he was nice enough…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The group gathered at Oz's van, where Wesley sat, sound asleep, in the front seat. After Xander woke him with some obscene comments and pounding on the locked door, the ex-Watcher jolted awake, and finally started the van.

"Well, let's reconvene at my house, shall we?" Giles said, hopping into the front seat beside Wesley.

Xander waved half-heartedly at the gathering, and climbed inside.

"I'll walk, thanks. Got no use for the special needs bus." Spike quipped, and walked off.

Riley leaned into Giles' now-open window. "We'll need to walk. This was an unauthorized operation, and we need to get home quietly."

Giles nodded. "I understand. Thank you."

Riley smiled at him, and turned to his men. "Alright, Alpha… fall out… quick and quiet, and get back to HQ. On the double. I'll join you in a while."

The men didn't question him, but scattered, melting into the night.

Angel looked at the van, where Xander waited impatiently, holding open the door for him. Angel waved him off.

"I'm going to check on Buffy." Both Angel and Riley said simultaneously. Xander grinned wryly and slammed the van door. They drove off.

Angel and Riley were left alone, once again, and both began to walk back toward town.

"I've been thinking about what you said." Riley said.

Angel looked over at him. "And…"

"And… I don't know. I mean… how can you not want this? I… I'd kill to have what you and Buffy share." He said. All that had passed between him and the Slayer in the 6 months they had known one another seemed to pale in comparison to the obvious bond between her and Angel. And, as much as it burned him to say it, he didn't think he could ever care as deeply for the bubbly blonde as this eternal creature seemed to… He gave up his chance at life with her, for her. That was some sacrifice. And now this?

"I have." Angel said quietly, eliciting a little shocked glance from Riley. "I do want it. It's just not right that I have it."

Riley continued to stare at him.

"She'll need you. This will hurt her. Badly." The vampire went on. "She'll be angry and resentful for a while. But stand by her. Just be there. She'll come around. She'll… she'll forget." He said with certainty. After all, she had forgotten, before...

"I doubt that." Riley replied. "But… I think you're right, in a way… at least for the sake of the child… it'll have a hard enough life as it is, with the Slayer for a mother."

Angel smiled in spite of himself. "I think she'll do fine."

Riley returned his smile amicably, "Be that as it may… I'll do it."

Angel looked at him. The boy topped his own considerable height by several inches, but his open, friendly face made him appear less of an imposing leviathan, and more of a cuddly teddy bear. He could understand why Buffy would be drawn to him, after years of his own sad, brooding darkness and lack of possibility or hope.

"Good. I thought I'd be able to count on you." He said.

"And what made you so sure?" Riley asked.

Angel looked him squarely in the eye, "Because Buffy does." He said.

The two men walked the rest of the way into town in silence.


	5. Just When You Think It Can't Get Any Worse...

Buffy couldn't help sigh wistfully as she got out of the car. She felt like a walking paradox. The afternoon sun warmed her skin, and she felt as though she was finally getting her oomph back after her long, stifling confinement. But she still couldn't shake the melancholy that hung over her.

Her feeling of being split down the middle emotionally was no doubt caused by her visitors, late last night. Riley had come first, bearing the news that they had destroyed the Kasala once again, without even a single injury to the troops. He was sweet and attentive to her, in a strange, new way that he never had been, before. It raised a little mental flag in her, but she brushed it off to his shame at having avoided her for so long since her… accident. Indeed, he had apologized, and made a dramatic, sweeping speech about wanting to take care of her and her child. For a few minutes, she had felt like the belle of the ball, and had visions of white picket fences, her handsome, blonde husband, a dog named Fluffy, and a minivan.

But it didn't last long. He left after half an hour, and she had dropped into a deep, dreamless sleep. Even in unconscious repose, the tingling sensation of Angel nearby registered in her heart, and she woke, looking up to see him sitting in the tree outside her window once again.

"Hi." He said quietly, when he saw her looking at him.

Buffy sat up and propped herself against her pillows. "You don't have to sit out there, you know… you're already pretty much invited."

It was meant to be a joke, Angel knew, but he still felt the need to explain himself. "I didn't want to wake you."

Buffy sighed. Was it always going to be like this, between them? Awkward and uncertain, full of questions and hurt and the tinge of fear that hovered around them like a dark stain on their otherwise spotless chemistry? Would he always be shy and reticent around her, when once there had been nothing that could keep them from sharing the deepest secrets of their souls with one another?

"There's not much you can do about that…" she said, "Besides, I'm hungry."

Angel took that as his final cue, and climbed in the window, sitting beside Buffy on the bed. He held out a brown paper bag with a big grease stain on the bottom for her inspection. She smiled, eyeing him with mock suspicion, and took it.

"I'm not going to find something from the butcher shop in here, am I?" she quipped.

Angel couldn't help but smile. "No. Clam fritters, fried broccoli, and beer batter French fries." He said.

She grinned broadly at him. "Grease and iron. You sure do know the way into a girl's heart…" she said.

He tensed noticeably, and smiled weakly in response.

Buffy looked carefully at him, as she pulled the pint boxes, one by one, out of the bag, and began stuffing their contents into her mouth. "What is it?" she asked through a mouthful of broccoli.

Angel fidgeted a little. "I've been thinking… about going home. I mean, back to L.A., for a while." He said.

Buffy stopped in mid fritter-lift, and stared at him. "What?"

He lowered his eyes. "You don't need me, here, Buffy… you have plenty of people around to take care of you. And… Finn…"

Buffy thought of Riley's grand speech a few hours earlier. Her little thrill of joy at hearing it paled in comparison to the unbearably stunning attraction between herself and Angel. She could almost hear the energy, crackling in the air between them. Her heart pounded and twisted, and her breath came fast in spite of her best attempts to stay cool.

However sweet he was, and gorgeous, she just didn't feel that way about Riley Finn.

Angel went on, "I'm in the way. I make everyone here uncomfortable, including me. And… there's so much that needs to be done, in L.A. I have responsibilities there… people who depend on me."

Buffy dropped the fritter back in the box and set it on her nightstand. Pouting furiously, she turned back to him. "What about me? What about your responsibilities to me? What about the baby?"

Angel closed his eyes and sighed deeply. "Buffy…" he began, like he had begun a million heart-breaking conversations with her before, "Nothing has changed, between us. Despite what's happened… despite…" he stared woefully down at her growing belly, "Despite this. There's still no way we can make this work."

Buffy felt a sinking feeling plow through her, and she was certain for a moment that what little food she had gulped down so far was going to come right back up. She fought the tears just behind her eyes.

"I thought you said it was my decision. I thought you said I could choose how I wanted things to go." She whined softly.

He looked at her, wishing he had never said that at all… wishing he had never put that seed of ill-fated hope into her heart. /Better it be like this, than the alternative…/ "I meant, with the baby." He said. "I'll do whatever you decide, when it comes to our child. But when it comes to us…"

Buffy cast her eyes down. So, there it was… he was abandoning her, once again. She felt a stab of something akin to hate rip through her.

Angel reached out and cupped her chin in his big hand, and lifted her eyes to meet his. "Buffy, I don't have to tell you how much I love you. And I will always be here for you. But I can't… we can't… make this work. You know that. We've tried, and all anyone ever got from it was pain."

Buffy was angry, now, "SO? Anything worth having is hard to get! We should be trying to get around all this, not run away from it! What about that day we spent together? Doesn't that mean anything?"

Angel flinched, and inched away from her. "How can you say that? How can you even think that? That day means everything to me."

She felt badly for hurting him. But he was hurting her so much…and it was just her instinct to lash out at whatever hurt her… She moved closer to him again, and looked up into his sad eyes. "Don't you want us to have that? Don't you want the baby to have that? Doesn't he or she deserve it?"

His expression became hard. "We don't have that, Buffy. We never will again. What the baby deserves is two normal parents."

Buffy shook her head, bringing herself back to the present. They had reached an impasse, and there didn't seem to be any way to get around it. So, he was going home.

She felt the slight rolling in her belly once again, as if the baby were crying, too. Buffy turned to look at Joyce.

"I'm going for a walk, mom." She said.

"Oh, Buffy… are you sure you feel up to it?" Joyce's brow scrunched worriedly.

"Mom, I'm fine." She insisted, "The doctor said low impact exercise is good for me and the baby, remember? It doesn't get less low impact than walking…" Besides, she desperately wanted to spend some time alone while she had the chance, and her mind felt so clear. She had a lot to think about.

"Maybe I'll go with you…" Joyce suggested, fidgeting with her keys.

Buffy approached her, and took her hand, "No action, mom, I promise. No big evil… not even a demon. I just… I need to be alone for a while… to think."

Joyce looked down at her beloved daughter for a long moment, then sighed. "Okay. Just… take it easy, Buffy. And if you feel tired, just come right home, okay? Promise me."

Buffy smiled. "I promise." She said, and headed off down the street.

Joyce watched her go, glad to see her feeling so much better, but worried, nonetheless. Whatever her daughter's intentions, it seemed like trouble followed Buffy wherever she went. She looked down at the sonogram picture clutched in her hand. The little shape in it was barely distinguishable as human, at this point… the first photograph of her first grandchild…

As she went back into the house, she silently prayed that Buffy would be safe… for once.

Forest quietly closed the office door behind him and looked around. Professor Walsh sat at her desk, surrounded by piles of maps and reams of notes.

He cleared his throat. "Excuse me, Professor? You wanted to see me?"

Maggie looked up, not the least surprised by his arrival.

"Yes, Agent Allan. I'm glad you've come. I'd like to speak with you for a moment. Please, have a seat." She said, gesturing to the chair in front of her desk. Forest complied uneasily.

"Agent," Walsh went on, "It has come to my attention that there has been some… excitement… in Sunnydale lately."

Forest gulped. Could she have found out about their mobilization the night before?

"Ma'am?"

She looked evenly at him, and he felt a touch of panic threaten, creeping up his spine. He felt like she was looking through him.

"Professor Walsh, I can explain…."

She held up her hand. "No need, Agent. I'm aware that you and Agent Finn are close. What happened to his young friend was… upsetting. It's perfectly understandable that the two of you would be…distracted. That's why I've asked you here."

"Ma'am?" Forest asked, confused.

Maggie got up from her seat, moved around to the front of the desk, and perched on its edge, directly across from him.

"I want you and Agent Finn to take some leave… a day or two, R&R." she said.

Forest continued gaping at her.

"Did you hear me, Agent Allan? Take Agent Finn, and get out of town for a couple of days… you're relieved of your duty until both of you get some rest."

Forest looked at her for a moment, then to the map that lay open on her desk. It was a detailed satellite map of one of Sunnydale's many small, upper-middle class residential neighborhoods. He was suddenly twice as uncomfortable with the unusual situation.

"Ma'am. Permission to speak freely?" he asked.

"Of course."

"Is there something going on we should know about, ma'am?" he said, not taking his eyes from the map.

Maggie turned, picked it up, and rolled it into a tube. "Nothing that need concern you for at least 48 hours. Thank you, Agent." She got up and returned to her chair.

"Ma'am?" Forest queried as she sat down. This was all wrong… he could feel the willies crawling up and down his spine like it was an Olympic event.

"Dismissed, Agent." She said firmly, not looking up from her notes.

Forest turned and left.

As he walked to the locker room, he couldn't get the image of the map out of his mind. Why did she have it? He hadn't heard of any particularly heavy activity in that area.

He tried to shake off his discomfort. He and Ri could use some rest… and it had been a long time since they'd taken a road trip together. Maybe San Francisco… or Baja…

This could be exactly the thing Riley needed to distract him from his Slayer troubles.

Angel's eyes snapped open at the end of the nightmare, and he bolted upright, panting and bathed in sweat. He had been dreaming that he and Buffy's child had been born a putrid green, slimy, hideous monster. Willow had been acting as midwife, and delivered the howling thing to Buffy, who beamed at it with pride.

Angel screamed and screamed as it opened its cavernous maw and devoured them all…

He caught his unneeded breath. Gods, he hated having dreams like that… they were usually a warning that something momentous - and usually heartbreaking - was about to transpire. He remembered, briefly, the horrifying dreams he had had of his and Buffy's grisly wedding, back before he left Sunnydale.

He sat up and looked over at the clock. Barely 4:00 p.m. Hours until sunset, when he could be out, watching her again.

The truth was, he hadn't been able to get her out of his mind for even a moment, since he'd been back on the Hellmouth. He had no intention of leaving her, of course, but it was better that she think he had. He could conduct his business as easily here, as anywhere else, and it was a quick drive to return to L.A. if he were needed there. Cordy and Wesley, he would send home, to be his eyes and ears.

He wanted to go and see her one last time before he stepped back into the shadows forever. It might be his last chance to spend a private moment with his family… Once Finn made his move, Angel himself would return to Los Angeles - get out of their way…

He could only hope that Finn would be true to his word. The way he had left Buffy's house last night, smiling and whistling happily, he assumed that things had gone well, and that the boy had laid some foundation for himself. Angel knew it must be hard him… he seemed old-fashioned, much like himself, and probably a little chauvinistic. But more important than any of that were the feelings Finn obviously had for Buffy. He was relatively certain that the boy loved her-and hated Angel. That would hopefully override any lingering archaic problems he might have with whose sperm conceived whose child…

But even with that decided, and his chance to see Buffy cause for a genuine, private smile, Angel was still ill at ease. He got up and dressed, and took to pacing the main floor of the mansion from one end to the other, lamenting its poor sewer access. There was simply no safe, direct line from here to Buffy's house in the broad daylight. Of course, he hadn't exactly been thinking about popping by for a nice visit with Buffy when he'd bought the place…

He fidgeted for several more minutes, feeling a throbbing headache coming on, and decided to settle his mind with some Tai Chi. After a couple of movements in the kata, an idea dawned on him. A solution so obvious, he could have kicked himself in the head for not seeing it earlier. He picked up his dread cell phone and dialed Giles' number from memory. All of the day crew should be there, on duty, by now… if Buffy hadn't dragged them off shopping or something…

"Giles." Came the crisp British greeting.

"It's Angel. May I speak to Cordelia?"

"Of course."

There were muffled tones of the phone being passed, and Cordelia whining softly about being busy, then:

"Yes? What!" she snapped. He'd probably interrupted her flirting with Wesley.

"Have you heard from Buffy yet today?" he asked, too concerned for Buffy's safety to take issue with Cordelia's tone.

"Oh. Hi. No." She said, "I don't think she's back from the doctor, yet. Willow's supposed to go over there in about an hour." Her voice was more friendly, now…

"Good… okay…" Angel said, trying to pretend that that was good enough to make him feel better. It wasn't. "No. Listen, I need the car. I'm on my way over."

"But…" Cordy said, but he had already hung up. "…why don't I come over and get you?" She said, exasperated, and hung up her end.


	6. If it's Not One Thing, It's Another.

Buffy sat down on a nearby bench, and looked out over the park's rolling hills. How many times had she patrolled here, with Angel, over the years?

/Boy, I really *am* tired, after all./

She promised herself she would rest for five minutes, then head for home. A nap didn't sound like too bad of an idea, right now…

She thought again of the incredible story Willow had told her about the adventure the night before… the part that neither Angel or Riley had thought to tell her. The two of them, locked in a basement together? She could barely imagine what might have passed between them. Of course, more than likely, knowing them, neither had said anything to one another at all… they probably just sat on opposite sides of the room, scowling at each other.

Buffy couldn't help but giggle a little, at the visual.

But the mirth was short lived when she remembered once again the cause of her two loves being thrown together… and the fact that one of them was removing himself from the equation. She looked down at her belly for the four millionth time.

There wasn't any doubt who the father was, whether she remembered it happening or not. The idea of Angel being human… then giving that gift back - for her, no less - exhilarated, upset, and angered her all at once. All of that was great, for him… his life more or less went right back to the way it was before that day. She, on the other hand, was stuck with a living reminder of that day, and not even any memories of it to comfort her.

Which really begged the question. What would they do now? Buffy was utterly torn between her feelings for Angel, which had been central to her for as long as she could remember, practically, plus her belief that a child should be raised by its real parents, if at all possible; and the simple fact that nothing else had changed between them. There was still no way for them to be together, as a couple. He was right there, as usual.

And that led her back to thinking about Riley, and the things he had said last night. She didn't know if she could honestly say that she loved him, but she knew these months they'd been together had been some of the happiest she could remember- and that included her time with Angel. She always felt safe, with Riley… like nothing in the world could harm her, even the Hellmouth itself. She had even begun to dream, before all of this started, that they might have a future together… a home, kids, maybe. But now? Even after his grand monologue about honor and duty and love, she still couldn't buy it. It seemed too unlikely, knowing how old-fashioned he was. Even if Riley really did want to raise Angel's child, could she set aside her feelings for Angel himself enough to pretend it didn't matter that he was the father?

She didn't see how she could, even if Angel was leaving her again.

Maybe she should just raise it herself. There were plenty of solid male role models in her life for a baby to learn from… Giles… Wesley… Xander, even. Good men, who cared about doing the right thing. Smart, strong, giving men.

Not so much Spike, though.

Buffy got up and began the long trek home, letting her thoughts continue to wander, to distract her from her exhaustion. She couldn't say she wasn't surprised at Angel's decision to leave. Why should he stay, and have to spend every day looking into the face of a living reminder of his one lost chance at humanity?

If only she could remember… If only there were some way to get those memories back, then the choices she had to make would be more clear. She felt… unanchored… insecure, without all the important background information.

Before the thought finished forming in her mind, Buffy caught movement out of the corner of her eye. She spun to look at it, but it was moving too fast…

"Damn it, not now!" She snapped, yanking a stake out of her purse. It couldn't be a vampire, of course… due to the extreme broad daylight, but she had found over the years that pointed sticks were effective against a lot of things. She never left home without one.

Buffy closed her eyes for a moment, reaching out with all of her other senses to track her opponent. She opened them once more and kicked quickly to her left, and one green-clad figure flew ten feet across the grass and landed with a painful 'thud'.

Another ducked her punch and got behind her, trapping her arms with one hand, and using the other to cover her face. It covered her nose and mouth with a warm, damp rag, which smelled a little bit like kerosene.

"Oh no…" Buffy moaned. As the world went black, she saw the opponent she had just vanquished come running back to help his partner. The last thing she thought as she lost consciousness was how much her attackers' uniforms looked like Riley's…

Riley stared at Forest.

"What do you mean, R&R?" he asked.

"I mean, that Walsh wants us gone." Forest explained.

"Why?" Riley asked him.

"I think that, unfortunately, is the real question." He answered. His heart sunk. He'd been trying his hardest to ignore all the signs… the gut feeling that something was desperately wrong with this situation. Walsh… the unscheduled leave, the map of Ravello drive. What he'd really been hoping for was a vacation, not a bigger, badder adventure with the Slayer.

"I think so. Why didn't you tell me right away?" Riley snapped as he tossed his books into his bag and jogged for the door.

"I didn't… I mean, I hoped… I couldn't believe it was true… How would they even know…" a realization hit him, "Oh, hey, man! I didn't tell them! I swear! I never said a word to anyone!" He chased his friend out the lecture hall door, toward their house on the far side of Campus Row.

"I know you didn't." Riley said, "But I intend to find out who did."

Angel barreled in through the front door. He didn't see anyone immediately, and then he heard gasping and mumbling nearby. He sprinted behind the couch, where he found Anya and Xander cradling Cordelia between them. She was rubbing her temples furiously.

"No guys, I'm fine, really…" she was saying, "I just had a vision. OH! We have to find…"

She looked up.

"Angel." She said.

/Talk about coincidence…/

He looked into Cordy's eyes for a moment before he turned and bolted back out the way he came.

Cordelia turned and looked at Xander, "Buffy's in trouble." She said sadly.

Even gagged, the Slayer's furious screams still echoed off the cold, barren tile walls of the Initiative. Every demon in captivity there cringed in terror at the sound of it, but some part of them still rejoiced:

Their captors had also captured the Slayer.

The soldier rolled Buffy's gurney into an examining room, where Professor Walsh washed up, dressed in green scrubs. She almost seemed to delight in watching Buffy's eyes fly open in shocked horror.

"Ah, Buffy… good." She said, and indicated where the soldier should put the gurney.

A second soldier locked the thick door behind him. It could only be opened from the outside, or by a password to be spoken by each person scheduled to be inside. The Initiative wasn't taking any chances on the Slayer escaping.

"Take that gag off her! She's not a demon, for God's sake!" Walsh snapped at the guard.

The first soldier obeyed, releasing the gag on Buffy's mouth. She spit it away and glared at Professor Walsh.

"I already had my prenatal today, thanks." She spat, struggling against her bounds.

"You have nothing to worry about, Buffy…" Walsh assured her, "We have no intention of doing you or your baby any harm." She reached out and gently probed Buffy's belly firmly. Buffy struggled to get away once more, but found herself held fast. "We just want to see what's going on inside you… A Slayer… pregnant… by a vampire? Who knows what things we might learn from this?"

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Buffy screamed, panicking, "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME! YOU CAN'T HAVE MY BABY!"

At that moment, the door latch beeped and clicked, and Riley came crashing through the door with Forest in tow.

"Professor Walsh!" He shouted, "You can't do this!" He stood before her, quivering with barely contained anger.

"Agent Finn." She said calmly, "Stand down!"

Riley glared at her, then stole a glance at Buffy, still struggling on the gurney.

"Riley…" Buffy cried, her terror clear in her eyes, "Please…"

He looked down at the examination tray… it was covered with needles for drawing blood and amniotic fluid… a sonogram wand… monitors… and other tools he didn't recognize.

"Maggie, she's not a demon!" he shouted, "You have no right to just take her off the street, against her will!"

Professor Walsh regarded her protégé evenly, "Riley, we intend her no harm. Don't you understand how important this could be to us? What we could learn from her? This could do more for the cause… your cause… than any other discovery thus far!"

Riley's face twitched with fury. "This is not my cause." He snarled.

Maggie looked at him sadly for a moment. "I'm sorry you feel that way, Riley." She turned to the doorway, "Take him away."

Two men Riley didn't recognize grabbed him from either side, and dragged him out the door. He struggled as hard as he was able, but the guards held him fast.

A doctor in a white lab coat approached, and quickly injected Riley with a large needle. He looked to the side of him, and saw Forest already crumpled in a heap on the hall floor. His vision was losing focus, and he couldn't see more than faded outlines as he fell, turning his head toward the door.

"Buffy…" he whispered, and lost consciousness.

Angel shot out of the car moments after the sun had set, and took off on foot down the street. He'd cruised every sleepy avenue in Sunnydale for hours, after going to Buffy's house, only to find a hysterical Joyce blubbering that Buffy had gone for a walk hours ago, and never came back.

He scoured every inch of the neighborhood, looking for clues… any sign at all… on the sidewalk, in the brush, in yards and under porches in every direction. Finally, near the park, he found some signs of a struggle… crushed grass, broken foot prints, spots of fresh blood… He sniffed it. Not Buffy, but she had, without a doubt, been there. And fought. Hard.

Angel suddenly noticed the moonlight glinting off of something lying in the grass nearby. He leaned down, and saw what it was. If he had breathed, he would have stopped.

He found Buffy's thin, silver chain lying broken in the grass, the ring he had given her for her 17th birthday still strung on it.

The guards had finally left Buffy alone in a bare room with nothing in it but a steel cot attached to one wall.

She eased her heavy, aching body on to it and closed her eyes, fighting frantically against the dizziness that threatened to consume her. She was unsuccessful, and felt herself becoming unconscious again.

It wouldn't be long… Angel would come… or Riley would be back. She would be safe… she and the baby… any minute now…


	7. Escape

"Riley…"

He could hear the voice, but it was so far away…

"Riley. Hey, man, snap out of it."

Forest was slapping him lightly in the face.

Riley shook his head to clear it, and slowly sat up. They were in a holding cell… for a moment, he couldn't remember what happened. Then it dawned on him. Maggie, his mentor, had drugged him, and thrown them in a cage like a couple of HST's. How long had he been out? What were they doing to Buffy?

He took a long look around the room. The Initiative took security very seriously, and there were, of course, no immediately apparent ways out.

He had to try anyway. "One Girl." He said to the door monitor.

"Security code invalid." The door replied, "Access denied."

"DAMN IT!" He shouted, and smashed his hand into the steel door.

"I'm thinking they don't want us rescuing your girlfriend." Forest observed helpfully.

"No kidding." Riley replied testily, and pulled a small laser torch from his watchband. He sparked the tiny red light and began painstakingly cutting away at the security computer panel on the door.

"What about the radio?" Forest suggested.

Riley shook his head without looking up. "It won't work through these walls… and besides, who's going to come help us here at HQ?"

"Right." Forest said, "Lock down."

"See if you can tap into the main phone lines with the cell… we can call Mr. Giles, if we can get a line out. We have to get help here, now."

Forest nodded and grabbed the phone from his belt, punching buttons and saying a little prayer his grandmother taught him when he was a boy.

Something about fools needing guidance…

Angel now paced the length of Giles' living room instead of his own. He scowled deeply, his brow furrowing, with Buffy's necklace clutched so hard in his hand, it drew blood.

"Angel, stop. You're making me nauseous." Cordelia snapped at him.

He didn't even slow down enough to shoot her a look.

"So, the question is, where was Buffy taken, and by whom?" Wesley asked.

"That's two questions." Cordy mumbled.

"Don't we kind of have to answer one in order to answer the other?" Willow asked.

Cordy shrugged "I don't know the answer to either. Just that the guys were big, and green… and they drove a black van."

"You're certain." Giles said.

"Yeah. They took her right off the street…" she repeated sadly, "Right near her house…"

"Why would demons snatch the Slayer in broad daylight and spirit her away in a van? Why not just take her out of her room at nightfall?" Wesley babbled on.

"Because whoever they are, they know we'll be watching her, then." Angel finally stopped pacing and approached the table. "Where's Finn?"

Giles, Oz and Xander exchanged looks.

"Finn? Who is this, Finn?" Wesley asked, obviously befuddled.

"Buffy's boyfriend." Xander said helpfully. Everyone but Angel shot him a look. Angel ignored him.

"And what, pray tell, does he have to do with any of this?" Wesley whined.

Angel ignored Wesley, too. "Xander, call Willow. She's at Buffy's house with Joyce. Find out how we can track down Riley and his gang."

"Gang?" Wesley squealed, "Buffy's boyfriend is in a GANG?"

Forest shook his head. "Nothing." He said, taking the cell phone away from his ear, "I can't get a line out."

Riley looked around. "We have to get out of here." He turned to Forest, "Give me the phone."

Forest tossed it to him and watched with amazement as his CO pulled it apart and began fiddling with the circuits inside.

"MacGuyver time…" he said hopefully.

Xander hung up. "Willow doesn't know where he is. She tried calling the dorm, but nobody's answering. She's heading over there now."

"Good." Angel said.

"Do you really think Riley took her?" Oz asked. He found the concept surprising - he always had Riley nailed as a pretty stable guy.

"No. I don't." Angel said, "But the Initiative might have. And if we find Finn, we find them."

"Wait a minute…" Anya piped in, "Doesn't Spike know where the underground headquarters are?"

All eyes turned to the couch, where Spike lounged lazily, gulping down Guinness after Guinness, watching Who Wants to Be a Millionaire on Giles' tiny black and white television.

"No, NO, you MORON! D! It's D!" he shouted, shaking his bottle menacingly at the screen. He suddenly realized the room had become still, and turned to see everyone staring at him.

"Oh, fine, right. Get good old Spike to save the day once again." He said, and got up from the couch, "Getting low on tragic irony, eh? Alright… I'll show you. But you won't find anything there, I'm sure."

Even Riley was surprised when the door sprung open. He honestly hadn't thought he would be able to force the cell phone microchip to communicate with the door's security computer. But it had, and he was wasting time looking a gift horse in the mouth. Forest was already out the door.

"Forest!" He hissed, "Where are you going? We need a plan!"

"I plan on getting out of here." He said, "Someplace quiet. The Outback, or the South Pole, maybe."

"We have to find Buffy first." Riley said, joining him in the hall and looking in the opposite direction toward the other holding cells.

"Forget her, man! Listen, they've got her locked down tight. We can send someone back for her."

"No! We can't just leave her here! Who knows what they'll do to her!" Riley cried.

"Look. Hostile 17 is on her team, right? Sooner or later, he'll lead them here!" Forest insisted.

"And then what? How will they get in? How will they find her? Will they be in time? How will they get out? No. We have to do it." He said firmly, and crept down the hall toward the power room.

"Damn it." Forest said to himself, and followed.

"Where?" Angel barked at Spike again, clutching harder at the back of his neck. It was barely 11 p.m., and the campus was still crawling with students. They had to get underground before somebody noticed them lurking around, staring at the grass, and called the police.

"Here! There was a ventilation shaft that opened out here!" Spike said.

Angel let him go and dropped to the ground, pressing his ear to the grass to listen for the hollow echoes that would be a signal that tunnels were dug deep below. He heard nothing but the sound of worms and bugs, moving through the soil.

"There's nothing here, now." He said, and got to his feet. Angel took in everything around him, trying to figure any place where there might be an entrance to the complex below. He notices several houses nearby, lining the park where they stood.

"They're students, right?" Angel asked.

Spike shrugged, "I guess…"

Angel looked at him. "Then they must live somewhere…"

Spike thought about it for a minute, then his eyes shot to a house where Buffy and Willow had once said they were going to a party. "Hang on a minute. That one, over there! I think that's where Soldier Boy lives!" He pointed to the nearest house.

"Then that's where we'll start looking." Angel said, and walked away.

"Yeah. Great." Spike said, and followed him.

Willow wandered slowly through Riley's house. It wigged her thoroughly that there was not a soul to be seen anywhere inside. It was after 11, shouldn't someone be home? There was something not quite right about this place...actually, a lot of somethings... She hadn't noticed at the party, because, well… other things had been going on at the time.

But now? Now she noticed the incredible number of full-length mirrors and walk-in closets… and awful lot for a house full of guys… She checked each closet, and found most of them either empty, or close to it. Did twenty people really live here?

"Hey, what's going on here?" She said out loud, trying to shake the feeling that she was being watched.

"That's what we'd like to know."

Willow jumped and spun toward the door. Angel and Spike stood barely five feet away, silhouetted against the moonlight pouring in through the front door. She knew they could both see her in the dark, so she held herself as straight as she could to hide her fear.

"Is this Finn's house?" Angel asked, looking around.

Spike wandered off.

"Yeah. This is where the whole unit lives." Willow was shaking so hard, she could barely talk.

"There are tunnels under here!" Spike shouted from the library.

"And demons." Angel observed, "Lots of them." He could smell them everywhere… the foul stench of pure evil, mixed with rage and terror.

Willow looked into the mirror beside her once again. She could still only see a perfectly natural reflection of herself, and an utter lack of one for Angel. She centered herself, closed her eyes, and began to chant softly in Latin.

Angel watched the mirror's surface shimmer like water and separate, revealing clearly the elevator mechanics inside and behind it.

"Wow." Spike said, rejoining them in the hall.

Willow shook her head, opened her eyes, and the mirror became solid once again. She felt all around the mirror's frame.

"I'm thinking Open Sesame won't work." She lamented.

Angel looked at her. "I'm thinking you're right. We need a plan."

"And an army…" Spike added.

Buffy's eyes snapped open at the sound of a ruckus outside her cell door. Fighting… she thought. Finally, they were there… She ached all over, and she was starving. She got up and stood aside, waiting for the door to burst open.

She wasn't disappointed. The noise stopped, and the door clicked open, followed by a heavily armored and armed Riley.

"Thank GOD!" she shouted, crushing him and his rifle in a bear hug.

He smiled at her, warmly, but briefly. "Come on. We have to get you out of here." He said, and turned to help Forest drag the guard that had been outside Buffy's door into the room. They bound and gagged the unconscious soldier, and hurried out.

"We need direct access to the surface." Riley said to Forest, "What's closest?"

"The dorm elevator. South wing." Forest said, shutting the door behind them.

"Right. Let's go. Buffy, are you okay? Can you walk?"

Buffy nodded stiffly. Riley paused for a moment, reaching out to touch her face tenderly. She lay her hand gently over his, and almost forgot where they were in the depths of his kind blue eyes.

"Come on. Time for romance, later." Forest said, and the three began jogging down the hall, just as the alarms began to ring out through the compound.


	8. Not What We Expected

"Wait." Angel said, holding his hand up to halt the advance of the troops behind him.

Spike plowed into Willow, making her spill some of the steaming concoction she held in the goblet before her.

"Watch it!" She hissed at the vampire.

Spike stuck his tongue out at her.

"Enough." Giles scolded them.

They were in the trees only yards away from Riley's house. Everyone had volunteered to come, and everyone was part of the plan.

"Something's happening inside." Angel said, nodding up to the windows. Bright lights and the sound of fighting and gunfire filled the air.

Angel shot out of the bushes, on a direct course toward the front door of the house. He unsheathed his sword as he raced up the steps.

"Why doesn't he just use a bloody gun?" Spike complained as he slid his shiny new Luger out of his pocket, "They're not vampires!"

Wesley grabbed the vampire's arm, "Wait there just a minute, you! We need to avoid killing if we can! Remember, these are members of the American armed forces… Human beings!"

Spike elbowed him in the face, sending the wanker crashing to the ground, clutching his nose and squealing like a pig being slowly tortured with a hot poker.

"Shut UP, you bloody GIT!" he snapped, now in game face, "Alright… now I'm grouchy." He said, and bolted off after his sire, bellowing some battle song at the top of his lungs.

The others stared after him, except Wesley, who rolled about in the wet grass, moaning.

"Not the coolest plan of action." Oz observed, swinging a semi-automatic rifle from his back, "But he is kind of right."

Willow smiled at him, and began chanting over her goblet. Its previously mild grey smoke turned a violent, putrid green, clouding she and Oz as they headed in the direction the others had gone.

Giles and Xander began to follow, their own guns raised.

"Hey, wait. What about him?" Anya asked, pointing back to where Wesley now lay, cradled and bleeding in Cordelia's arms.

Giles looked at them. "Take him - go get Oz's van, and come to the front steps, immediately. And one of you, be ready to drive."

"Drive?" Anya asked, confused.

"I've got it." Cordy said, "And my dad said it never paid to speed…"

Giles turned as they heaved Wesley to his feet and started back to the van. He could see fire breaking out on the first floor of the house.

"Bloody Hell." He said, and ran toward the battle.

Buffy snatched one of the pistols from Riley's belt, and popped up above the heavy steel table, peppering the room with well-aimed bullets. She heard a thigh go, here… a shoulder, there… just enough to slow them down, but not to kill.

Riley grabbed her by the straps of her overalls, and threw her back at Forest.

"Will you keep her down?" He shouted at his best friend above the din.

Forest shrugged apologetically as he divested Buffy of her gun, and knelt forward to fire once again.

They were trapped in the back room, which was windowless, and every exit seemed to quickly be filling with troops, smoke, and fire.

Riley fired, as Buffy had, avoiding heads, chests, and stomachs, trying desperately to stem the tide without having to kill anyone. The idea of fighting his own troops made him more nauseous than the smoke…

"Damn it! There are too many of them!" He shouted, packing another clip into his pistol.

Suddenly, one of the soldiers who had been in the leftmost hallway come in violent contact with something dark and hard, and flew backward toward him. Without waiting to find out who… or what… had arrived to help, Riley swung the butt of his gun and thumped the man's head soundly.

The room filled with acrid, green smoke, and there seemed to be people fighting and shouting everywhere… far more than the number of troops on duty...

A deafening explosion rocked the first floor.

"There go the elevators." Forest said to Buffy.

She knew the plastique would be a good idea.

Forest peeked out around the table once more to assess the situation. All he could see were shadows and smoke.

"Shit." He said, ducking behind again. He snatched up his night stick from where he'd placed it on the floor, and looked at Buffy for a moment.

"Stay here. Shoot anything that comes near you." he said, handing her back the gun, and crawled out into the smoke.

Buffy waited, trying to hold the gun steady, her head spinning. The noises… was that somebody calling her name? The shouting… the fire raging, the sounds of battle… with her exhaustion and the smoke, she felt so dizzy, she could barely sit up anymore. She knew she had to get out, but she couldn't seem to wrap her mind around how or why…

Angel knew that time was short before the authorities - the other authorities - came in response to the small war going on in the house. To punctuate his belief that everyone on campus must already know something was going on, he tossed the soldier he had been fighting out the first story window.

He could see perfectly, even in the smoke. The spell didn't actually generate anything at all - it only tricked the unwary into believing they were being gassed, and the victim responded with the appropriate physiological symptoms… blindness, choking, and eventual unconsciousness. If one knew about the illusion, however, it had no effect.

That was how Angel was able to see the giant steel table pulled down as if as a shield, and then Riley's body crumpled in a heap nearby.

Angel dove across the room, coming to his feet directly to the right and behind the table.

Buffy was unconscious, too. Whether overcome by the smoke, or… something else… he couldn't tell. She was curled up in a tight ball in the far corner, a gun pointed straight out in front of her.

"Buffy!" He shouted, crouching down beside her. Not waiting to check to see if she was breathing, he scooped her up into his arms and plowed through the panicking crowd, and out the front door.

Ambulances and fire trucks were pulling up all around, and volunteers dashed here and there, struggling to herd the dazed and injured… students, soldiers, and Scoobies alike, who seemed to wander in all directions. Angel dashed for the nearest ambulance, as its back door opened.

He held Buffy's limp body up to the first medic. "Please, help her! She's pregnant!" he shouted. One of the EMT's jumped down to help, while the other slid out a ramp.

"We'll take care of her, son. Why don't you sit down?" The older of the two men said to him, as they took Buffy from his arms and put her into the ambulance. Angel shook his head.

He stared after them for a moment, as Buffy disappeared into the ambulance, then turned back toward the house. It was fully engulfed in flames.

He searched the clutches of people gathering nearby, scanning for any familiar faces. They were running out of time, if there was anybody left inside. Finally, he spotted Cordelia. He sprinted to where she stood, sipping a cup of coffee a Red Cross volunteer had given her, and quickly glanced around, trying to count heads.

"Is everybody here?" Giles was calling, as though he were a kindergarten teacher, herding an unruly class after recess.

"Where's Finn?" Angel asked, looking for the man's tall figure in the crowd.

"Oh my god! He must still be inside!" Willow cried.

Angel turned and ran back into the house.

Buffy was regaining consciousness, and looked up just in time to see Angel sprinting straight into the flames.

"Angel, NO!" She screamed, struggling to get up. The EMT's held her down.

"Relax, sweetie… there's nothing you can do in there, now…" he said.

The house groaned as the last of its infrastructure gave way… new explosions seemed to go off every few seconds, shaking the ground under their feet. After a moment, it appeared to vaporize under a sheet of smoke and flame, collapsing in on itself. Soon, there was no evidence remaining to prove that there had ever been a building there, at all.

Buffy sobbed into her oxygen mask.


	9. Epilogue

Angel moaned a little as he turned over on the couch. He was still stiff, and seemed to have burns, everywhere. The last couple of days had been the most painful he could remember.

At least physically…

And emotionally, too, he realized. He hadn't seen Buffy, or any of the others, for that matter, with the exception of Cordelia, Willow, and Wesley. They kept insisting on coming by to check on him. They told him everything was fine… everyone was fine, and that he should just rest and relax until his was ready to leave.

Leave. He had forgotten that he planned to leave. In the panic of Buffy's kidnapping, and the fury of his mission to rescue her, he had let all of that slip from his mind.

Could he still go, having almost lost her yet again?

He heard a shuffling in the garden, and looked up, surprised to see Riley Finn standing in his doorway. He struggled to sit up.

"Hello." Angel said to him.

Riley remained where he was, fidgeting uncomfortably. "Hi." he said.

"Would you like to come in?" Angel offered. He felt bad for the boy, as uneasy as he obviously was, to be entering the home of a vampire… or perhaps the lover of the woman he loved?

Riley came in and stood a few feet away, watching Angel as he rose. He fought his instinctual urges: the first, to turn and flee, the second, to turn this creature to dust.

"I'm sorry to bother you." he said.

Angel looked at him. "You're not. How are you feeling?"

Riley shrugged. "Better. Okay. You?"

"Fine." Angel replied.

Both men stood awkwardly, for a moment.

"Listen…" Riley said, "I came to talk to you… to… thank you for saving my life. And… to tell you that…" he ran his hand through his hair, then looked up into Angel's face, "I won't be able to stay and look after Buffy, like you asked."

Angel nodded. "I understand."

Riley shook his head, "No… it's… it's not that I don't want to… I do. I would have, if none of this had happened… with the Initiative. But… I have to leave town. Forest and I need to disappear."

"I imagine what you've done is against regulations." Angel joked.

Riley hardly smiled. "A little bit. So… I guess I've come to ask you more or less what you asked me, the other night." He looked at the vampire's intense expression, "But I somehow doubt I even need to."

He turned and began to walk the way he came, but paused once more before he left. "She never stopped loving you, you know." He said quietly, not turning around, "She never stopped missing you. She tried to pretend, but I knew it wasn't true."

Angel watched him as he walked away, and felt something akin to admiration wash over him.

A man after his own heart...

The afternoon was bright and warm, and Buffy was glad for the opportunity to throw the windows wide open, and let some fresh air into her stuffy room After her second dangerous adventure, she had been relegated to bed rest for yet another week. But honestly? She wasn't in any mood to leave her room anyway. Maybe not until after the baby was born.

She sat in the window seat, listening to the birds singing and the children's laughter that floated from the park up the street. She was concentrating so hard on absorbing the happy sounds into herself, hoping to chase away her depression, that she almost didn't hear the footsteps enter her room. But the floor just inside her doorway was a little soft, and creaked as Riley settled his weight on it.

Taking a deep breath, Buffy turned around to look at him.

"Hi." She said.

He smiled at her.

Buffy patted the bed next to her, and Riley sat. He didn't look at her.

"So… you're okay? You're feeling better?" Buffy asked him.

He nodded. "The burns weren't as bad as they looked, and Willow's potion really did the trick on the smoke inhalation… Cleared me right up."

"Hair of the dog…" Buffy joked.

Riley chuckled, "Best hangover cure I've ever had." He said, then his face became serious again. "Buffy, I… I came to say goodbye." He said softly.

Buffy cast her eyes down, and chewed her lip. "You're leaving?" she asked, although she wasn't really surprised.

"I have to." He said, "It won't take long for the Army to come looking for me and Forest."

"Well, you did kind of destroy a government installation." Buffy said.

"Treason." He replied, "So…"

"Disappear, right?" she asked.

"Right."

"Where will you go?"

"Out of the country, I guess…" he chuckled bitterly, "Where's the chic place to go into exile, these days?"

Buffy looked up at him again. "You don't have to. You could stay here. We'll protect you."

Riley smiled down at her. "I don't think that's a good idea, do you?" He reached out and lay his hand flat against her stomach, looking into her eyes.

Buffy let a tear fall from her eye, and shook her head sadly. "No… I guess not."

"Buffy… You have to know how I feel about you. I meant everything I said the other night. And if things were different, well…" he gently rubbed her belly, "I'd be glad to call both of you my family. But… the baby has a father. And he wants to be involved in her life whether he'll admit it or not. I think the best thing you could do is let him. And let him be in your life, too. He loves you."

Buffy stared at him. Was she hearing this? From Riley? "But…" She began. Angel was leaving her…

"I'd only be in the way." He went on, and gave her a small smile, "It's right, that I go. One way or the other."

"Riley, I… please, don't… Angel… it's complicated, between he and I… it's not just like we're just going to pick up the pieces." She knew, suddenly, that some part of her didn't want Riley to leave… it wanted all of the simple things he had to offer her… even if they had to do them in the Antarctic…"I don't want you to go." she said.

He shushed her with a fingertip to her lips, "Buffy… you know as well as I do where you belong. I know you care about me… I've never doubted it. But… there's always been some part of you missing. Some part that I could never have of you." He turned and stared out of her bedroom window, into the last, soft rays of the day, "Half of you isn't enough for me, Buffy. It never would be. And you would never really be happy, with me." He turned to look back at her, feeling badly for making her cry, "Angel risked everything to save me… and you. The least I can do for him is this."

Buffy could do nothing but watch him get up. He crossed the room with two long strides, and stopped once more in the doorway. She swung her feet off the bed and got up to follow him. When she reached the spot where he stood, she looked up at him, and then reached out and grabbed him in a crushing hug. He hugged her back, hesitating, for a moment. How could he leave her?

But then he remembered. He gently kissed the top of her head, and then pulled her away. "Buffy?" he asked, unable to look into her eyes for fear he would begin crying himself.

"Yes?"

"Do you… do you love Angel?"

"Yes." She said, without hesitation.

He smiled at her one last time. "Then everything else is just details." He said, and walked away.

Angel wasn't even trying for stealth. If he was going to become a member of the family… kind of… he would need to stop acting like a creature of the night, and start acting like the father of Buffy's child. He knocked on the front door.

Joyce was civil, but not enthused. "Hello, Angel. How are you?" she asked.

"I'm fine, Joyce, thanks. I came to see… uh… is Buffy still up?"

/Oh, good… Very slick. Smooth and debonair./

Joyce moved aside to let him in, and they stood in the foyer.

"She is. She seems to have been pacing all day, after her friend…er… " She looked into the pale, handsome face of the demon who might as well be her son-in-law, and smiled warmly as she lay a hand on his arm, "Try to talk her into getting some sleep, would you?" she asked, and went back to the kitchen to her coffee and bills.

Angel walked slowly up the stairs, running his hand along the banister as if memorizing the feeling of being supported to shore him up for what was about to come… to prepare him to meet his destiny, who waited, down the hall.

Her lights were off, and she was laying down, but he could see in the dark that her eyes were wide open.

"Hi." He said softly, closing the door behind him, leaving only the moonlight to illuminate the room.

Buffy's breath caught in her throat at the sight of him, and she mumbled, "Hi to you…"

He didn't hesitate, but sat next to her on the edge of the bed. It sank under his weight, and Buffy shifted a little to accommodate him.

"How are you feeling? He asked her, gently brushing a stray hair away from her cheek.

"Ducky." She lied, and sat up. "Except I think I'm getting fatter by the minute."

He smiled gently at her. "You're not fat. You're becoming more beautiful than ever…"

She grinned. "Good answer." She said.

"I thought so."

"And how are you feeling?" she asked him.

He nodded. "Fine."

They sat quietly, holding hands for a few minutes in the dark, watching the moon in the night sky.

Angel reached into his coat. "I brought you something." He said.

Buffy wiggled excitedly. "Oh, goody! Presents!"

He handed her what appeared to be an ancient parchment scroll, and gently undid the heavy velvet tie for her. It was a long list of names, dates, places, relationships… all written in fine script.

Buffy stared at it. The edges were finely embroidered with velvet and satin, and the material was worn from use. It was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen… and she wasn't really into old things. It was what the handwriting told her, that mattered…

She looked up at him in wonder, and then down again. She slowly skimmed the names through the top of the list, only slowing when she came to the last two rows… right before the vast, empty space once reserved for future generations Angel must have assumed would never be born. And they wouldn't have been, if it wasn't for that single day that never was…

She gently traced the center section of the second to the last row:

Angelus O'Connor  
B. 7 May, 1726  
D 18 October, 1753

To either side were the names of his siblings: Eileen, his elder sister, Jack and Allan, his younger brothers, and Colleen, his younger sister. Two names appeared below Eileen's: Aingeal & Roger.

All of them, even the children, had died within a few months of one another, beginning less than a week after Angelus himself. The same time frame found the deaths of his parents, his aunts and uncles, his cousins, and even his grandparents.

Buffy had no idea how to respond to such a sad and horrible testimonial… or such an incredibly heart-breaking gift.

"I don't know why I kept it, all this time. I ended my own line… there were to be no more after me. Maybe… maybe I kept it as a reminder… or maybe part of me knew…"

Buffy's throat was so choked, she couldn't respond.

"When the baby is born," he went on, "I'll put your name here, and the baby, here… It's the eldest son's job to keep the line. See? Here, I put in the names of my sister's children. The girl was named after me." Angel put his arm around Buffy and pointed here and there on the parchment. He seemed happy, almost relaxed, and no pain shadowed his features.

She could have melted into a happy little puddle on the spot. Never, in all of the time that she had known him, had he shared so much of himself with her. She felt honored, and privileged, but some part of her was still angry, too.

She pulled away from him. "Why are you telling me this now?" she asked him, "What is the purpose of this little history lesson?" She knew she was being harsh, but there was too much here, between them, that just wasn't right. He was acting as though nothing had ever come between them since the day they met. "You're leaving me, remember?"

He looked down at Buffy's hands, now clutched in her lap, "I just… I want my child to know where he comes from. Or she…" he corrected himself, and re-rolled the parchment.

Buffy was torn between her anger, and the overwhelming sensation of having him so close to her again.

"Riley came to see me today." Angel told her.

She was shocked, and didn't bother to hide it. "He did?"

Angel nodded.

"What did he say?"

"He came to thank me… and to say goodbye." He said.

"That's it?"

"That's it. More or less."

Buffy sighed. "He came to see me, too. He told me I should… oh, never mind, it's not important."

Angel imagined Finn had probably said similar things to Buffy as he had said to him. And, it appeared, neither of them wanted to talk about it. But it did remind him of what he had come to say.

"I'm going to stay." He said, "I want to take care of you. Both of you."

Buffy looked at him, "You want to take care of us?" She had not been so impressed by Riley's speech, "I see. Now that there's us, you want to stay and try, right? But when it was just you and me, you tossed me aside like so much garbage. Twice. And you were about to do it again." She said angrily.

"Buffy, that's… that's not entirely true… I mean, I didn't toss you aside…"

"No? We've had so many chances to be together, Angel, and every time, you've thrown them away. Instead of staying and fighting for me, you let me go!" She burst into tears and sagged back onto the bed.

Angel found he was so surprised by her angry outburst, he couldn't even move to comfort her. She was right, in a way… He had always walked away from every chance they had to be together. But… there were reasons. Practical reasons, that she always tended to forget.

But were there, really? Were there really enough reasons in the world to truly keep them apart? And did he have the right to decide if they did?

"I'm sorry, Buffy…" he said, tears edging his own voice, "I've only done what I thought I had to do to keep you safe… to allow you whatever happiness you could get, for your life…"

Buffy blinked away some of her tears and looked up at him. "What about now? What's really different now?" she cried, "Why should you all of a sudden decide what I feel is important?"

He looked at her with sad eyes for a long time, and then scooted up the bed and lay down behind her. He wrapped his arms around her, pulled her close, and leaned his face in her hair.

"Nothing's changed." He said softly, breathing her in, "And everything... I've been wrong, and I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

Buffy sighed once more and leaned into his strong body. She wondered, briefly, what he had felt like, warm. "This doesn't make it better, you know…" she said weakly.

"I know" he said, closing his eyes.

"Good." She said, "Just so you know. This isn't over. Not by a long shot."

"I know." He repeated, and kissed her softly on the top of her head, "It's never over."

She didn't reply. The Slayer was already sound asleep.


End file.
